what to do when you feel useless and lonely

Events happen quickly. “Take your time, dear. I want you to breathe slowly,” says the physician in a calm but assuring manner. “c’mon now, let’s do it. Breathe deep!”

The doctor’s relaxed manner can be misleading. The process of birth is routine, but nothing is taken for granted. At no other point in life is time so magnified. Everyone in the  delivery room is poised. The slightest hesitation, The failure to make a quick decision, a quivering hand-any of these could be fatal. the fetus drops lower into the pelvis. The mother begins to push the baby through the birth canal.

“Okay, you’re doing fine. I want you to put your chin on your chest and blow. That’s it. Bear down. Push. Push. It’s almost over!”

Every living human soul has engaged upon the ride of his or her life.

For nine months, we had lived in a secure world of incomparable closeness. We had lived within love itself, within our mother’s being, surrounded by the sounds and  sensation of her body, constantly in tune with her energy, her every thought and feeling. But now we journey on a different path. With each contraction, our small body curls into position, seeking the path that our mother opens up to us through her cervix. Remarkably, even now the question begs asking: What does the future hold? But for now, the future must wait. There is still some more work to be done.

“okay, blow, blow!”

by all accounts, this final moment seems both rushed and suspended in time. The physician has now relegated himself or herself to the position of coach, one who is bent on driving his or her players to the breaking point. Now your mother is caught up in the momentum. Sweat is dripping from her forehead. Every part of her body aches but she can’t feel a thing. She is more than willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of her child.

” I see the head! c’mon now, let’s do it. Keep blowing!”

your mother’s heart pounds faster, and everything around you feels tight and unyielding. The stronger contractions push your sore head against a rigid cervix. What had begun perfectly and lovingly has now heightened all sensitiveness in spite of the anesthetic. Both worlds-the mother’s womb and the child’s world-feel invaded.

“Bear down,” the voice prods one last time. ” Give it one last push!”

“Here it is! Congratulations , you have a healthy…”

And then a child is born into the world and the question of the future holds weighing.

Who am I ? is asked more times than we have answers to.

why was I born? remains a question embedded into the deepest portions of our hearts.

The overwhelming push of life comes, conditioning our minds in a certain way. making us feel a certain type of inadequacy or “not enough”

not pretty enough

not smart enough

not outgoing  enough

not good enough

not enough! not enough! not enough! seems to keep ringing in our minds

so what do you do when you feel like that voice in your head just won’t shut up?

1. Acknowledge and recognize the feelings and consciously tag them as negative and unhelpful

2. Meditate on the daily

  • Engage your five senses. what do you see, hear, smell, feel, and taste right now?
  • Focus on how your feet feels against the ground, or how your bottom feels pressed against a seat.
  • Notice something in your environment. Be it the bird chirping or the tap running.
  • Close your eyes and pay attention to your thoughts. Let them flow without trying to consciously analyze or judge them. Just listen passively to those thoughts.

3. Help someone. Focusing on the needs and wants of others can help you get out of your own head. As little as telling someone five things you admire about them, can go a long way in riding you of lonely feelings or feelings of uselessness.

4. Embrace self love. loving yourself can sometimes be one of the hardest things to do. But it is very necessary. Listing and reflecting on positive attributes about yourself can help you build self love.

5. Go outside. Do not underestimate nature’s ability to heal. Go out, have fun by yourself, treat yourself, read a book outside, take a walk.

P.S  keep the conversation going and actually tell someone five things you admire about them. keep it going in the comment section below!


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